What I Can’t Pull Off

30 Jan

Everyone has something they can’t pull off, right?  I started thinking about this the other day after bringing home a seemingly universal long-sleeved striped waffle tee from Old Navy.  It was my size, it had stretch, and looked like it was a flattering cut.  I even cut off the tags before trying it on.  Surprise!  I looked like a linebacker in it.  The stripes were situated just perfectly to draw the world’s attention to my broad shoulders.

I’m a totally average size and shape, and happy with my body, but there are just some areas and attributes that make certain cuts or styles off-limits to me.  Specifically, my aforementioned broad shoulders make a lot of necklines totally unflattering.  I stick to v-neck, boatneck, scoopneck, and cowlneck styles as much as possible, and avoid crewnecks in general.  Tank tops?  Only when hiking.

I’m also “blessed” in the chest area.  (You ladies who are similarly situated understand why I used quotes, yes?)  While, depending on your objective, one can dress the girls to one’s advantage in many ways, the fashion world really doesn’t design for full chested women.  [Insert diatribe on supermodels, body image, eating disorders, etc.]  So, in addition to the fact that a lot of clothing just doesn’t FIT when you have a rack (for example, gapes in every button-down shirts ever made), you can also count out flowy tops and tunics.  While adorable on many women, they just add the appearance of 10 pounds to my frame or that is-she-or-isn’t-she-pregnant air of mystery.  A defined waist is pretty much a requirement when you have a rack.

I don’t mean for this to be a negative post at all – like I said, I’m happy with my shape and still have a lot of options to play around with.  I just know my limitations.  What are some things you can’t pull off?



7 Responses to “What I Can’t Pull Off”

  1. RA January 30, 2013 at 1:32 pm #

    I just tried on this pencil skirt today, and it was So Cute! And yet, I just don’t think I can do pencil skirts. I feel like they are so CLINGY and call way too much attention to my rear end. Maybe they look fine, but I know I’d feel self-conscious, so I think I just need to let this one go. A-line 4eva!

    • N January 30, 2013 at 3:16 pm #

      I cannot wear pencil skirts unless I also wear at least 3 inch pointy toed heels, due to my short legs.

  2. Becky January 30, 2013 at 1:37 pm #

    I can’t wear turtlenecks or anything with a high neck. I am short-necked. It is very sad, I know.

    • N January 30, 2013 at 3:17 pm #

      That IS a little sad! I do love a turtleneck.

  3. stephanie January 30, 2013 at 6:36 pm #

    V-necks and deep scoop necks don’t look that good on me. I own some v-neck sweaters and shirts, but only those that I would wear over something else anyway. I find boatnecks extremely flattering on me though, but I think a lot of people complain about those.

    I have also never been able to do the belting over clothes thing. Part of it is comfort (or the lack thereof), but it’s mostly because I have absurdly wide-set ribs, and belting just above them at the smallest part of my waist just accentuates that. (The ribs also make button-down shirts gape, even though I am decidedly NOT blessed in the chest area.)

    • stephanie January 30, 2013 at 6:37 pm #

      Uh, I meant belting just BELOW my ribs. Belting above them would be a necklace. Or a noose.

  4. PinkieBling January 30, 2013 at 6:51 pm #

    I can’t pull off wearing yellow. It’s just no good. I also can’t wear scarves or turtlenecks because they make me feel like I’m choking and trigger my gag reflex.

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